Do you find yourself constantly criticising yourself, thinking the worst about everything and feeling helpless? These are all common symptoms of having low self-esteem. People who display these symptoms often lead unhappy lives and have an unhealthy reliance on other people.
Poor self-esteem is something that can easily be overcome with a little time and effort. You can find plenty of stuff across the internet for improving self-esteem unfortunately in many cases it’s either too vague or there’s so much to take in that you don’t know what to do first. That’s why I’ve only mentioned three methods here, three has been proven to be a manageable number of just about anything. These are some of the best actionable steps you can start taking today to skyrocket your self-esteem.
All About You
People who suffer from low self-esteem are usually very critical of themselves. They notice all of the stuff they don’t like about themselves and their life and dismiss everything that is great about them and all of the good in their life.
It’s time to turn this on its head. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying repetition is the mother of skill, well that’s how we’re going to tackle this. There are three things you must do every day for the next 30 days.
The reason I say 30 days is because this is just a little bit longer than it usually takes to install a habit. If you’re not committed to doing this for the full thirty days you’re wasting your time because it’s not going to work for you.
Once this is instilled as a habit it will help to replace the negative self-talk with positive self-talk and reverse the downward spiral of ever decreasing self-esteem so you start to build on your self-esteem every day.
Here’s what you need to do;
• Everyday write down three things you’re grateful for, by the end of the 30 days you’ll have 90 things
• Everyday write something that’s great about you or something you’ve done that day that was kind or a compliment that someone offered you
• Evaluate what you’ve done today and compare it with your past performance, never compare yourself to anybody else, try to find something to improve on and set yourself a Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time bound goal to take it to the next level. If you don’t reach your goal don’t beat yourself up, take the feedback and look to improve it some more.
The second method for building self-esteem is probably the most powerful way with the best results bar none. This is all about feeling the fear and doing it anyway. By fear I mean anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or worse.
Overcoming fears is an amazing experience, you get the thrill in the moment you overcome and the after affects last for a long time afterwards. When you overcome a fear you’re affirming to yourself that you can do something you once couldn’t. This has a global effect on your whole life.
Your self-esteem grows that little bit every time you overcome something new, this new found confidence enables you to tackle more new things that were once out of your reach and the cycle continues, the more you do the easier it becomes to do more the more your self-esteem grows. Up and up it goes.
The secret to it is to start small;
• Make a list of things that make you feel uncomfortable, not the ones that paralyse you with fear, the ones that make you a little uncomfortable.
• Take something from the list and everyday do something towards overcoming the uncomfortable feelings it produces.
• If you don’t do anything, don’t punish yourself, pick yourself back up and start again, always be looking forward.
• Take small steps, the more you take the more you’ll be able to do and the more your self-esteem will grow
The final tip is a little more difficult than it first sounds. Spend more time around positive people. This also means spending less time around negative ones. People like people like themselves, as you start to make changes in your life and become more confident some of the people closest to you will try to pull you back to their level.
Don’t let them, if you find yourself in this situation try to scale down the amount of time you spend with them, gradually at first. These people could be long-time friends who you never thought you would separate yourself from.
This may hurt in the short term but if you really want to build your self-esteem and improve the quality of your life it is necessary. Either they join you for the ride or you slowly over time part company.
On the other side of the coin spend more time with positive people, it’s infectious, the more time you spend in their company and hear them positively talking the more you’ll become positive yourself.
Building self-esteem takes time, it’ll not happen overnight but if you work on these three things everyday it won’t be long before you start to notice the changes in your outlook on life and the increased level of courage you feel. Don’t be discouraged if you trip up along the way, the reason you fall is so you can learn to pick yourself up again.